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The last few months were chaotic in terms of "life stuff." Renovating the Temple, then getting the garden prepped, and I was getting ready to teach a week long training as well... then the storm hit.

In the middle of it, Eric was going through some stuff and I was exhausted and stressed. Our sex life definitely took a hit. My plan for the summer is to nourish our sexual union in new and novel ways.

Yesterday, we made love twice. A quickie in the afternoon and some soft, primal sex right before bed.

I usually have three clitoral orgasms when we fool around and yesterday I only had one each, and my body was buzzing both times. It was so much fun to feel. In the afternoon, it was a matter of time, and last night I just felt complete.

My pussy was pulsing and it was vibrating up only to my ribs, so I simply sat with it without trying to change it.

I share this as an offer of reflection on your sexy habits.

What are your sexual habits? What are you self-pleasure and partner love making habits? Do you have orgasm habits?

Reflect on them. Write them down.

When you've written your list, then reflect on...

What is the reward of the habit? What happens if you don't do the habit? Are you moving towards the pleasure or something away from the pain of something?

After you've reflected on that, answer...

Are you open to trying something different for awhile to see what happens?

If the answer is "yes," give it a try but *don't over think it*! Surrender to it instead.

Then reflect on what the new experience was!

I think I'm going to lean into this orgasm variation thing and see what it leads me.

We've been over our heads in renovations for the temple for the last two weeks. It kinda came out of no where. We were expecting to start early April, but that first domino fell an we've been trying to keep up, plus life threw another obstacle that's been sucking my time that required immediate attention!

Thank you all so much for your patience.

All I want to do is make some amazing content 😩 and I'll be back at it soon.

In the meantime, here's a shot by Angela Holmyard a couple weeks ago 🖤

REFLECTIONS ON MONOGAMY
Part 1 - How I Got Here

In December 2020, I chose to practice monogamy for the first time in a decade.

To be honest, the shift was long and hard. Realistically, it took about four months all together and a whole lot of hurt and grief in the process.

My being polyamorous was one of the things that enticed Eric the most about me. B, my most recent ex-partner, and I had shifted our relationship from partners to lovers in September 2019, but we were still very much a part of each other's romantic lives when Eric and I met in January 2020. Over the course of the winter, things with both were flowing nicely and everyone was content, but as the season started to shift to spring, so did the feelings.

Often people look to open relationships with excitement, not realizing the amount of work required to find unwavering securing within one's self, heal past relationship wounds that will surface, and rewire ingrained societal programming. Another roadblock people unknowingly come up against is desiring incompatible relationship structure. Eric hit the first three pretty hard and we hit the last one together like a freight train and a 7 layer concrete wall.

I won't share the details of Eric's journey, but here's mine...

From about August on, the struggle between my spiritual belief systems and my deepest personal truth was super fucking real.

My spiritual belief system is that love and freedom are one and the same. When you love someone, you want them to do whatever it is that brings them joy, happiness, spiritual growth and love into their lives, which I still believe with every beat of my heart.

Living with that spiritual belief system in the world we grew up in, is not for the faint of heart. After a decade of practice, I was still far from an expert in practical non-monogamy, but I stand by the belief that love IS freedom.

In terms of my deepest personal truth...
I always wanted devoted partnership, complete with building a life with one person. Honestly, what I really want (and still desire) is a solid, stable poly quad (two primary couples), but with the a primary relationship with my partner that is congruent with the desires of the other couple. Basically, that we're all on the same page. I want BOTH AND all the time, haha.

And... I want that devoted partnership to be with Eric. The man is truly something else. His love is wild and passionate. However, last year he wasn't even a tiny bit ready to be in an open relationship and it turned out to be nothing short of horrendous for everyone involved. Read part two for a little summary of that adventure.

Finding the balance between sovereignty of self and the community of my partnership was the biggest lesson. If fact, the balance between sovereignty and community was the theme of 2020 for me, and my relationship was a microcosm. How do I balance my wants and desires with those of my partner

We split in November. (I wrote about how I moved through the pain last year if you want to read my post about it on IG (it's a grey background posted January 19)). When we started communicating again, his boundaries were crystal clear - monogamy or break-up.

Part 2 coming next week!

The rejection! The shame. The disgust. The self-hatred.

We are everything, whether we like it or not. Feel into these parts of yourself. Hold them with compassion. Only then can you have compassion for other's that express these traits.

We had a beautiful Euphoric Temple last nice. Check out the playlist.

https://open.spotify.com/play…

Between what Hollywood says, what our parents did and how our love life has been around the middle of February, Valentine's Day can carry a lot of charge.

Shadows aren't always in the dark either. Sometimes we romanticize Valentine's Day so much that we become upset or disappointed when things don't work out as we fantasized they would.

Let your heart take you places in this shadow hunt if it expands beyond February 14th.

ROLL& RELEASE - Inner Thighs

Tools:
Alpha
Plus Pair
Coregeous Ball
2 Yoga Blocks

Spend some self-care time sinking into the softness of your inner thighs. Whether you want to improve your hip mobility to access more sex positions, release any stored trauma or dense feelings, or just to relax or feel the pleasure of self-massage, this video is for you.

If you need balls, here are some links:
Canada https://www.eroticembodiment.ca/shop
Elsewhere https://www.tuneupfitness.com/shop/self-massage-therapy-balls?rfsn=6401888.8cbbc7

If there's anything you want to learn or experience through Roll & Release, DM me or drop a comment below. Enjoy!!

Oof! I actually love playing with this particular shadow. You're scrolling away and that person pops up... saying that thing. Your whole body recoils in disgust and annoyance and you just start shaking your head.

Embody that feeling and then write.

Scroll half-way through if you read my IG post and wanna get to the juicy details!

We had a surprise guest, and it was perfect.

The ceremony was beautiful. Some of the participants were very new to communal mindful erotic practice, others had done it a couple of times before. I won't share the details of everyone's journey though the ritual, but the feedback was outstanding. You can find my own, personal experience on our OF page (it's definitely NSFW 😄)

I got a message Saturday morning from a friend who lives in Kingston and needed a place to stay Saturday night. I said, "no problem, you're welcome to crash here for the night." He offered to to bring his singing bowls to share a sound bath, not knowing what was happening Sunday morning. I told him about the ritual and asked him if he wanted to join or hold space and bathe us with his singing bowls. "That sounds wonderful, let me feel into it," was his response.

Sunday morning rolled around and his desire was to support our journey and serve us with the vibrations of his bowls. He asked if he could guide us through a meditation as well, and I asked if he was comfortable stimulating erotic current, and he said "sure, I can do that." I said "perfect, I get to participate!" 🥳🤩 And did I EVER!

My Goddess, rapture was blissful. The physical act, the energy of it and the soul connected experience was extraordinary for me. You can find that story on OFs, cause it's not safe for the 'gram.

If rapture sounds like something you'd be interested but fear is hold you back, I would LOVE to hear about it. DO ME A FAVOUR and send me a message with your hesitancies. We don't even need to talk about it. Also, if this is horrifying to you and you want no part in it, haha, I want to hear about that too. I'm so curious and have absolutely no judgement either way.

***

WOW! I'm no stranger to sharing my erotic bliss in a group of people, but this experience was especially exquisite.

I had the opportunity to have my own rapture practice, thanks to a wonderful man holding space and guiding the group.

With any mindful self-pleasuring practice, you never know where you'll be taken by your erotic current when you fully surrender to it. My intention was to play with sex magic to support love and freedom in Canada and to love a good friend who was struggling from being cyber bullied the day before.

After our guided meditation and some breathwork, the singing bowls commenced our journey into ecstacy.

Here's my journey:

My body starts to undulate, starting at my hips.
Sounds emerge from the depths of my pelvis, up and out my open throat.
Air stokes my inner fire with each inhale and every breath out brings me deeper into presence.

I peel the joggers I'm wearing off my body when the inferno of my eros starts to expand through my veins. My hands warm up slippy, slick coconut oil and I traverse the curves of my torso and thighs with my oiled hands before they make their way to the edges of my pussy. My fingers start massaging my outer lips and all around my pelvis for quite awhile, relaxing the muscles, drawing in bloodflow and building heat before my yoni starts to pull me into her juicy, wet folds. At this point, I'm tuned into my sensations and check in with the beings around me. Everyone is doing just fine in their own experience, so I slip back into my bubble of bliss.

Damp and warm, my pussy gets more aroused my the second. The collective sounds and energy of the room, feed into my erotic current without any effort on my part. My fingers slip up and down between my outer and inner lips. The sounds of my ecstatic enthusiasm erupt through my body and out my mouth every time sensation boils over, practically every breath at this point. I trail lower and my yoni all but slurps me inside, begging to be penetrated. I tease her a little more, building the tension and making love to myself, before I allow her to pull two fingers inside, stroking my sweetest spots. My back arches, my pelvis bucks, primal groans vibrate through my throat... "FINALLY. Thank you," she whispers.

In and out. So juicy and slick with no resistance whatsoever, my fingers make an infinity symbol deep in my pussy, then out my pussy and up and around my clit. I stop to play on the inside, stoking all the spots. I pause on the outside slipping over the hyper sensitive bundle of nerves to tickle, tantalize and tease, building more and more energy. Each breath draws the energy up and around my body, supported by the vibration of my sounds, the collective sounds and intuitive movements my body simply responds to.

My orgasm keeps building to a wild intensity. The tension is difficult to contain and my whole body feels like it's going to explode at any second. I ride the waves, not letting them quite peak, waiting for the perfect tide to bring me to nirvana. The energy in the room keeps thickening with sexual energy. I contribute to it and draw from it with my breath, sound and movements, staying anchored in my own sensation.

As I'm on the verge, I can feel a white light vertically through my heart, with a dark halo that extends both up to my crown and down to my base. I hold it there, feeding it with my pleasure, with my ecstasy, with all of the dark love in my heart... until it's time. One last inhale invokes a powerful burst through my pussy into the core of the earth on one end and up through the top of my head into the cosmos at the other. My body pulses with wild abandon. My pussy throbs and weeps around my fingers. The energy from north and south, surges through this white light through my entire system.

The aftershocks ravish my body. In complete surrender, the collective pain and hurt from all impacted by the world's decisions moves through my body. Grief emerges with moans of agony. Tears pour with amalgamated sorrow for what's been moving on our planet. I allow myself to transmute raw aches into love and compassion. It runs through me until the cycle completes and I collapse into the nothingness, I crave so deeply.

**
My goodness, that reflection was a delicious way to start my Monday. Peak experiences like this one are what makes our life vibrant and colourful. There's also a beautiful catharsis that occurs when we allow all expressions to cycle through our being. I'm infatuated with the power of Eros.

Thank you so much for tuning in.

To learn all about these incredible practices, our Deep Sex in-person workshop in happening this weekend and Pleasuring the Goddess is on the agenda February 27th. And you can always join us for rapture. Round two is March 6th - will be hot and holy.

Find our full schedule at www.eroticembodiment.ca/schedule

Have a blissful week, loves!

Our first rapture is SUNDAY morning, 10 a.m. EST. To join us, register at www.eroticembodiment.ca/schedule

xoxo