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I'm pretty sure I've mentioned how much my birthday usually sucks. Since I know I'll be alone and most people forget, I scheduled an appointment as an early birthday present to myself. I hope it lifts my poor little neglected spirit.

On Tuesday, I will FINALLY have a consultation with a plastic surgeon to have my extra skin removed. I'm hoping to find out EXACTLY how much the surgery will cost. The sooner I can get that the sooner I'll be able to look into the mirror and have peace. I'm so over seeing incomplete heartbreak.

38 will not be the same as 37! Not if I have anything to say about it!

I'm nervous, but so excited to finally come to the page of my new chapter. I'm even more excited to share it all with you!

I can not say thank you enough for all the love and support! I hope you stick around and watch another transformation happen. Please feel free to help me fund it! Let's see what kind of magic we can make!💚💋

Fuck I need to get off.
It's so hard when you just want to go crazy on someone, but you're determined to find the right someone.

It's been so long since I've felt special. I can't remember the last time I was held, kissed, treated properly. Seems no one wants treat me appropriately, so yup, single I remain.

Loneliness sucks but I'd rather be single than stupid, right?!

Happy Saturday! Be Safe!

Happy Thursday! After a bit of a devastating day yesterday, I started today with a determination of changing things I don't like in my life.

Being nurse for my little sister after her surgery yesterday made me so mad that it wasn't me. I can not sit here and feel this way. I'm ready to make this happen! I want this skin GONE! I'm done waiting. I believe my body is FINALLY getting to where it needs to be to even be cleared for surgery. I'm going to keep pushing; I am going to get this skin off.

Bare with me and my journey. Be my cheer squad unlike I've ever had before. You inspire me through the roughest of times.

I need to start getting better about exercising again!
I would REALLY like this to help me!
🥺Pretty please, Daddy?!🥺

I don't know what to do anymore. The more I try to improve myself, the more the world shits on me. I have to jump through hoops to even get a fucking consultation with a plastic surgeon. Meanwhile, my sister went in today for a tummy tuck to fix her C-section scar.

Three years I have been trying to get my extra removed. THREE YEARS. She walks in and gets it done. I'm so exhausted from all the hurdles life throws at me while others get a red carpet.

I get that I'm a piece of shit. I thought maybe just maybe I can make myself not be so much. I don't know how much longer I can try to fight. I don't want to feel ugly anymore. I don't want to feel like a monster anymore. I don't want to feel incomplete anymore. I just want to be better than I am meow.

Sorry for ranting, I just needed to vent a little. Ignore me, it's not like my feelings have ever mattered.

Happy Tuesday!
Are you enjoying your summer?
Are you handling the heat?
Can you handle my heat?
💚💋

17 days til I turn 38. Normally, my birthday goes unnoticed, or ppl think it's on the 14th🙄

I've only ever had one thoughtful gift on my birthday! It was a few years ago, I was completely blow away because it found its way to me all the way from the UK. I love when someone is thoughtful, I could honestly careless what the gift actually is, I love knowing that you were thinking of me when it was bought.

It's those little things that matter to me. Best gift ever.

I wonder if I'll get to feel special like that this year?!

I'm just a girl who really wants pizza right meow😅😂
You have no idea🤣

I hope you are being safe, staying hydrated, and wearing deodorant out there🤣😂

I had my third of six iron infusions this morning and am completely exhausted. All I want to do is sleep. I need a big spoon. 🥄?

I can't believe August is almost here!
This summer will be over before we know it, but not before my birthday comes round!

38 doesn't look so bad, right?!
Will you be giving me a nice big present to celebrate with?

Good morning, come back to bed with me?