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Hey guys(: It’s been a while since I been on my free page! I’ll be re-doing this page for your enjoyment 💓 It will be a much more in depth page of my personal journeys as a yogi, surfer, spiritual girl! Slowly but surely I’ll get my content back up on here 💓 xoxox,
Niykiii

Omg hi guys! I’m back on here 😁

Dance is the hidden language of the soul 💃

What’s your fetish? Thinking of surprising you soon!

Humans and their love Experiences. Humans come from many different walks of life. And it takes a certain amount of humility to really appreciate that everyone comes from different walks of life and view points. For me and my own sexuality, I am more closed off with whom I give my love and sex to. I have had a few bad experiences in partnerships and sexual encounters. I don’t like to give myself sexually to many people, but I whole heartedly enjoy showing my body naked. Something I am actively working on is Retroactive Jealousy. I would like to be okay and celebrate that my partner may have had way more love and sexual experiences than me and that is okay. I acknowledge that we are here together in the present moment. And I acknowledge that our past experiences have brought us here to be together now. As hard as it is to sometimes accept what really went on in a person’s past life before me it is a goal that I am working towards. Opening my heart to become even better and accepting of more love.

For me, growing up, I was raised in a Catholic idealist household primarily valuing sex as an interesting act of sacredness. I know that in today’s society, there might be more of an acceptance for men to go and have more sexual relations than females. Not saying that females can’t and should, but this all falls under realms of various sexualities and ideas. My upbringing truly shaped how I view sex.

- [ ] Insecurities. Often times we might produce our insecurities as a form of validation from the outside world. For me I struggle with hearing stories of the past. It’s something called Retroactive Jealousy. When my partner brings up past experiences with previous partners, I start to feel insecure. For the reasons that I’m not the main topic, maybe sometimes I feel like I am being compared to the past. It’s something that I have acknowledged often though out my relationship. I don’t blame them for bringing up the past. I understand that sometimes it’s definitely innocent and maybe they were trying to just bring their own experiences in which he thought that would help. An example: I was talking about how my really good friend was thinking about going back to art school. I, myself have been interested in going to school for art for the past few years. My partner had then went to bring in his take saying that, “I don’t know about that, I used to date a girl that went to art school and it was stressful because of the constant creative state that you had to be in”. For me, a person who struggles with retroactive jealousy, I just wanted to go at it inside and make myself feel worse. I wanted to question him and ask him about his feelings for this girl, what this woman in the past meant to him. That’s where my my mind immediately went to and I really had to gauge myself to not make the situation worse. It took a sense of willpower for me to not project my own insecurities into the situation. Part of me felt bad because my lower self was thinking, “you don’t believe in me” so I wanted to be fiery. I lost all senses. I didn’t want to eat and I honestly started crying but I really had to refrain myself for getting into the topic at an unnecessary deep level. Like all things, when you really start to acknowledge different parts that you want to change about yourself, it takes a lot of courage and ecstasy to be a different person. I have looked up YouTubes about Retroactive jealousy and I am actively working on refraining myself from making myself feel worse going and asking unnecessary deep questions about a person’s past relationship. It takes away from the relationship now.

Have you ever experienced retroactive jealousy?