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Tonight's 📽️ is Jason X ...
A film that even when high still isn't any good ... So many other ways I could have spent that time ... I could have picked up trash near an exit ramp next to the freeway ... I thought about starting an argument with a loved one ... Considered going to Chuck E. Cheese just so I can yell at kids that aren't mine ... I've always wanted to learn how to breakdance now if I can just remember where I put that piece of cardboard

Anyone have a hairbrush I can borrow ...

I stood there covered in water looking at a lawnmower held together by tape ... I then thought of the film Caddyshack and groundskeeper Carl Spackler only in my movie he wasn't talking about golf ... Carl was letting me know that even though it might be raining outside be a man and finish mowing this yard

They were two for four they said ... I appreciate the fact you want to leave candy out for others but I've been eating out of this bowl for the last two days and it's not even Halloween ... If this bowl would have just been filled with Hershey's zero sugar I would have never touched it ... However Twix and Butterfinger I'm planning a heist ... Your hospitality has led to a life of crime

Is the crossbow necessary ... It's an Easter egg hunt

My mother once said to me and you wonder why women drop you off at Hot Topic and leave ... Aren't you tired of feeling confused as you stand in the food court alone ... I mean just look at how you dress ... My mother's words seemed a bit harsh at the time ... I mean she acted like I was jumping off the roof of her car with a broom pretending to be Harry Potter

Shh ... Do you hear that ... If you listen close you can hear a Philadelphia Eagles fan crying right now

Boo ...

At a traffic light and thinking ...
If you have a personalized license plate on your car please be considerate of others when removing essential letters from a word ... At some point others will try to figure out what your plate is attempting to spell ... Someone will then litter out of anger because the license plate on your car doesn't make any sense

Pedestrians are slow ...